Here’s the interview I’d like to do, but no one’s asked me yet:
Spirit Animal: Hydra
Favorite Saying: “No mud, no lotus.”
Recent fascination: Santa Clarita Diet (Netflix)
Favorite Cause: Fighting the forces of Evil. All of them. All the time. Currently I’m waging a war on the sheer volume of princesses that don’t wear glasses.
Pet Peeve: The one dread on my left side that isn’t long enough to tuck behind my ear yet.
Favorite stuff: iPhone, Wacom Tablet, Anything handmade, Bulldog Hustle Butter, Liquitex ‘heavy body’ paint, loose leaf tea.
Songs that stick too easily in my head: Ramble On Rose (GD), the theme song to Dinosaur Train, Sheep Go To Heaven (Cake), Jane Says (JA) Volcano (JB), Nuh Nuh (The Muppets)
My record has been three years in the same house since I left for college many moons ago. I really do move that much. I’ve started using the zip code “01234” on my social media accounts whenever possible because it simply defaults to “Planet Earth”, which is really what it all boils down to anyway.
It all works out fine until you get someone calling to verify something. They ask those series of questions like “..when you lived in Port Hueneme, what was your street address” and “.. did you ever have a car with the last three plate digits of 472?” Then they think you are crazy. I have to answer each question with a question until they really get that I’m not faking it, I really don’t know. The calls go something like this:
Call Center: When you lived in Ventura, what was your street address?
Me: Which time?
CC: What do you mean?
M: Well I lived in Ventura several times and had both commercial and residential properties, as well as po boxes. And do you mean Ventura City or Ventura County, because that would narrow the search.
CC:… ok. How about Victoria St- what was the street number you used for your mail?
M:… Good question. Pretty sure it started with a 4? It was next to the sushi place, can you google that?
CC:…. How about in Santa Barbara? Where did you live?
M: Again, Santa Barbara City or Santa Barbara County? Makes a difference.
CC:… Ok. How about Florida? Can you give me a street address from there?
M: Which coast?
M: I was only there for like six months, I can’t possibly be asked to remember that.
CC: But you bought a house right? Where was the house?
M: Started with a P…..?
And so on and so on. Definitely not my best quality, but it does make things interesting and I am really good at packing. They could have asked me anything at all about packing and I would have aced it for sure.